If people around the world choose to spend their new year eve with their loves one, she chose to disappear and avoid the crowd. She chooses to find the peaceful place in the world to get to know myself better. She is in Spain now, but she does not feel to go out and enjoy the night. She needs to rest and sleep to get a fit condition.
Time past fast and keep running, so do she who keep running in midst of the middle earth. She does not know where to go, she is not sure what to do, feels like holding onto something yet loose the spirit of fierce. Where is the brave eagle go? Or the fast horse run? Nowhere, she keeps run away, without map or direction.
The place where she lives change, people change, life keep flowing like the water going into the sea. Scared, hiding, looking for fortress. Where is the answer? Where she could find the door to knock? Asking for help, looking for guidance. For the several times in her life, it comes to difficult situation where she could not make her decision wisefuly. She has to face her fear, fear of everything. Hard? Yes, but otherwise she never really find the answer. Risky? Always. Isn’t she like to give it all into risk and take the consequences of her decisions? Yes, but this time the answer is no. She is afraid. She knowa the consequences are big, more than she could take due to her journey.
She just want to finish it well. Responsible with her life, to everybody who count on her. Though she realize, her life is her own, her responsibility. Where she could find her peace? Where she could find her comforter? In The Lord Himself. God brings her this far, He will be the one to keep guide her until the end.
She wants answers to every questions in her head. All feels bad, hard, and difficult to manage. She does not know what to do. Only hope the miracle could happen and enlightened her way. She needs a way out, the only one to lift her up so she could soar her wings, fly high, and protect others as she used to.
